Learning to Say ‘No’

Have you encountered a situation where you had to do something just because you were unable to use the two-letter word ‘No’? I’m sure we all have some or the other time been in a similar situation. It is because from childhood we have been raised to help others no matter whatever the situation. Though some people smartly handled such kind of dilemma, there are few like me sure who are always trapped in such situations.The problem here is we believe that saying no to someone is regarded as being rude. And of course, nobody ever wants to be offensive to someone, especially to our closed ones. I’m not against being kind or helping the person in need.All I want to say is do things that don’t take a toll over you. I remember the lines written by Paulo Coelho

 “When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” – Paulo Coelho

say no
There is No Harm in Saying NO

If you are someone who faces these circumstances now and then, I’m sure you could exactly relate to what it feels like to be in such a dilemma. You have become someone who needs approval from other people. Somehow, you have become a people pleaser. The problem here is that you put the needs of others above your own. Being a doer, you thrive on caring for others. I say all this with much confidence because I have walked down that road; I was always on my toe to be there for all. The issue began when I started giving up on my thoughts, feelings and wishes with a hope to make other people happy to make sure that ‘we’ were good.

First of all, remember communication is the key. No matter what, if it is not possible for you to do something, it is your responsibility to communicate it with the other person. You have the right to say No. You don’t have to be aggressive or criticize someone for saying a No. All you got to do is talk out. I know this won’t happen overnight and definitely, it’s going to be tough. You will feel guilty for saying no, but eventually, it will help you re-focus your priorities. I’m not telling you to say no always but be flexible. When we start being authentic with ourselves and to others is when we focus on our life.  

Fall in Love with Yourself…Again…!!!

yourself

Life is a series of ups & down. Just like the bumpy line in your ECG Graph means we are alive whereas a straight graph defines death. Similarly, the highs and lows in our life are proof of our living. There are instances where everything falls apart.  There is a moment where you start hating everything around and more precisely start hating your own existence. Do you remember that particular memory when you can’t stand your own self? It might be due to various reasons, maybe guilt or regret. Maybe you felt that you were not worthy enough for someone else or maybe you disappointed someone or broke someone’s heart. There might be N number of reasons to this feeling but holding on it has never been the solution to it.

All this while, you have been carrying this self-hatred in your heart and because of this, you have forgotten to love yourself completely. Yes, you might have some ugly secrets, committed some of the silliest mistakes or blunders because of which you think that you do not qualify as a good human. But tell me who doesn’t? Nobody over here is a perfect figure. We all are humans and humans are bound to make mistakes and learn from them. We all have done things which we shouldn’t have, said things which we shouldn’t, fell in love with wrong people and let go of the right ones.

But Darling, you have carried this heavy burden in your chest for quite a while and that is suffocating you from within. Because of which you are persistently worried and depressed, and anxiety penetrates around you making way for panic attacks. Your cynical heart has become a breeding ground for demons, who are feeding off on your self-esteem.  And you’re not alone in this. We all are fighting our own demons that are within us. All we need to do is, keep trying and you will be amazed to see how your love can create angels out of your demons.

self love

Love Starts from Within

Never make yourself feel that you are not good enough. You always deserve the best. Are you unable to remember the times when you forgot your own sorrows just to bring a smile on someone else’s face? Do you know about the times you have made a difference in someone’s life without even realizing it? Remember the times when you went out of the way just to help someone in need. If you had forgotten, remember it now.

Do you recall that innocent, loving and caring kid that is still within you, waiting for you to reach out to him/her? All you got to do is, take a step forward towards the old you that is still worthy of love and of everything that you have wished for. Embrace yourself because self-love is the best kind of love. The only person who will be beside you throughout this life journey is You. Because how you love yourself defines how others love you.

The longest relationship you will be in, is with yourself so make sure you keep it safe. Therefore, always stay true to yourself and follow your heart. And you will fall in love yourself again.

Getting Lucky is a Myth?

lucky

We have always heard people using these phrases and sometimes we too say the same things like ‘good luck’, ‘He just got lucky’, ‘If only I had had a spell of luck’, ‘You have a lucky day today’ and so on. Now, what exactly one means by it? No, I’m not asking the actual definition of luck. What I meant is, do we ourselves actually believe in luck in today’s time?

We have seen in our day-to-day life, what influence luck has on our lives. I, myself have experienced this so many times that I already forgot the count. One such incident that I want to share is from my school days. Our teacher had assigned every student a project and it had to be submitted in a week’s time. Since the project was an essential part of our final year score, we all were on our toe to do our best. But there was one guy in our class who was least bother about all this.

I still remember the night before the final submission, I was awake till 2 am; making the final edits in my project. The next day what our teacher announced was a shock to us all. She didn’t even bother to check our projects in fact; she extended the project deadline for 2 weeks. It disheartened all of us who had worked so hard for the whole last week. On the other side, the guy who had not even started with it was laughing over it. Now, you might think of it as just a coincidence but believe me there are incidences where even coincident excuses have failed.

I’m sure many among us do believe in hard work more than the luck factor. And I do not say everything depends on your luck too. I firmly believe in hard work and dedication but somehow somewhere or something always makes me believe in this luck game. I believe that everything happening around happens for a certain reason. A good example of luck is participating in the lottery competition. Picking the winning lottery numbers means that you are actually just picking random numbers and hoping that they turn out to be the lucky numbers. In the end, it all comes down to your luck because we don’t have any control over it.

I have seen people working passionately towards achieving their goal. They have slogged hard, compromise over leisure to reach the position they are at now. I truly believe on the following quote by Paulo Coelho

When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.’

– Paulo Coelho

And I’m sure many of you would agree on it too. For me, hard work and luck go hand-in-hand. That is why always keep doing your best and sooner or later luck will shine upon you.

Love her or Not?

She might not be the easiest girl to fall for. She tends to overthink a lot. Sometimes, she tends to overreact and often gets insecure. If you are with her, she’ll want your complete attention. Even though she doesn’t say much, but she notices every minute detail about you. She doesn’t appreciate fancy gifts, all she wants is your time and love. She is quite skeptical about her choices and therefore requires a lot of assurance.

There are times when she doesn’t know when to stop fighting with you even if she’s wrong and there are days when there is a storm inside her but still prefer to stay Calm. She might shove you away if she senses that you will hurt her. She may not be a Foodie but she can have her favourite food all week round. She might not be a sports enthusiast but outdoor games still do not fail to bring out the child in her. She loves to hang out but at the same time, she is one who would prefer to spend her weekends in the comfort of her home.

Loving her will pressure you, make you anguish, at times break your heart. There will be a time when loving her will test you, challenge you, and might as well change you. It may get so tough that you’ll be lured to walk away; it may get so difficult that you’ll think about giving up, and it may get so intricate that you won’t want to deal with her anymore. Loving her means you get to see her at her worst and most vulnerable and that is something that you’ll have to be strong enough to handle because she needs someone who’s tolerant enough to understand her.

She might not be the best at being loved but she’s pretty amazing at loving. Once you succeed in conquering her heart, you will have the best of her. She is the woman that will not have any second thoughts in giving all she could, just to get the smile on her man’s face. She loves fearlessly, unconditionally and sincerely. She will be the one you can bank upon when the rest of the world becomes cynical. If you’re her Man then you are the Man of her tiny little world too. And if she really is the one for you then She is definitely worth the risk 🙂

25th Birthday – A Letter to the 25 Year old Me

25th Birthday

I do not need a formal introduction, right. Do I? Though we talk on the daily basis, this is the first time I would be writing you a letter because today’s day is different. Since it is your 25th birthday, I thought of just rewinding back time for you. No, no do not take it literally. I do not have a time machine or something. What I meant is that let us just freshen up the core memories of your life. Now that you are entering this new phase of your life, I want you to remember all the happy as well as sad moments of your life that together contributed to helping you grow. Being the sole witness of your life journey, I would love to have reminisced about these wonderful memories.

I still remember the tiny cute little girl who was carefree about everything around. Even after being scold for coming one hour late for the classes every day, she still used to get up late. Those chapattis, which aatya (aunt) used to feed, were like a start button to open your eyes. In addition, the tantrums that you used to show while shopping were countless (still is :p). You are really a very choosy person from childhood. Remember that day when you purchased that cute red velvet color dress and you wanted to wear red sandals on it. Therefore, you roamed the entire market with your aunt just to purchase the right one for yourself. You are not really a fight person. You will argue and debate but fighting has always scared you from childhood.
I recall the time when your class boy used to trouble you. He also broke your teeth once but somehow you could not really fight him back. You love watching horror movies or listening to ghost stories. I guess this developed from your childhood. Since every night dad use to narrate bedtime ghost stories and you really enjoyed listening to them. Do you remember the time when you got less marks in your class test and your tuition teacher had asked you to get it signed by your parents? You were so scared to show it up to your parents that you tried to copy your dad’s signature. The next day, teacher called up your dad to cross check it. Ha-ha… Not a good memory of what happened after that but that day certainly taught you a lot.
One of the incidents that I hark back to was the time when everyone used to threaten you about sending you for a dance class. Since you are the shy type, you were scared of public appearances. However, there was a point when you were so fed-up with their intimidation that you decided to overcome your fear. You made that bold decision of participating in the dance performance at your school annual day. This incident certainly made you a courageous person. Since then there was no looking back, you have performed in every event at the school and have won many prizes for the same. I have never seen you as obsess by anything like the one you had for the cycle. Every time, you would go shopping with mom you used to stand in front of that cycle store admiring all the cycles and then cribbing for one: p
Do you remember that accident which happened just a day before the annual day? You had participated in a group dance. You gathered with all your friends for your final practice and that is when you had a fall and got injuries on your head. You had four stitches behind your left ear but even at that moment, all you were thinking was about your performance. You did not want to spoil your team performance just because of that incident. Even with all those stitches on your head, you pulled out the performance incredibly, because, for you, your people’s problems are much more important than your own troubles.
From childhood, you have faced your fears bravely. Remember the school elections. How your elder sister convinced you to stand for head girl’s position in the school and you were scared to death because that would have involved public facing which you hated to the core. Nevertheless, since it was her dream, you decided to give it a try. The students participating were distributing chocolates and gifts but you decided to play fairly. I still remember how you sat on your bench putting your head down when the principal was announcing the names. Moreover, you could not believe that you won the head girl title until the time you did not confirm it with your friend. That was certainly a turning point because that position did teach you many things.
You have always been a reserved person. That is why; even in school, you tended to make very few friends. You did not like opening up to people somehow, you failed to trust people easily. So slowly, you started to share your thoughts in your diary and that is where your writing habit was hail from. I remember how consistently you worked hard for your boards. I have seen all your struggle and hard work closely. However, you did not meet your expectations but you have certainly excelled with flying colours securing the third rank in school.
In addition, the time when you had that cute confusion which made you fall for the right person in your life. The morning you sat regretting and expecting things, which made you to, finally confess your love. And that’s what bloomed a beautiful relationship, which has now grown deeply. Like every teenage kid, you still were confused about your career path. Being a child you always wanted to become a dentist (god knows what made you think about it) but as the years passed by it slowly moved towards engineering and when the results were finally out you still weren’t sure about it. Therefore, you choose B.Sc.IT since you were interested in technology. However, with each semester you realized that was not something you wish to do. Somehow, somewhere, something struck that motivated you towards writing. Moreover, the published review article in Film Fare Magazine certainly opened a door that directed you towards the writing field. Hence, you took up your first job as a Content Writer.
With years flipping down, you have filled your life’s bucket with enormous memories that you can hark back on. Memories that made you laugh, cry or angry. Some broke you apart while some strengthen your will. However, more importantly these memories made you the person you are today. Surely, you have made many mistakes and some of the silliest ones but they all rest in past.
Being with you for almost 25 years now, I understand your thoughts, your fears, your goals and your emotions too. I know people always misjudge you by your behavior but I know deep down how much you care for the people around. I have seen you go that extra mile for people who do not even value it but you never gave up since your close ones mean the world to you. I know exactly what you are going through now as the quarter-life crisis stroke you hard. A lot of pressure surrounds you regarding your job, career & family. Nevertheless, I want you to understand that this is the stage, which makes you skeptical about your own life but at no cost, you will let this affect your happiness. It is OK to be imperfect, it is OK to make mistakes as you are still learning and it is totally fine to fail. Just remember that never stop trying no matter what the situation.
It might feel like time has slipped from your palms but remember that life has just begun my dear. Do not let you temporary insecurities ruined your internal peace. You have always been a responsible child and you will always be. Just because certain things do not work according to your plan that does not mean you are doing something wrong. There is so much to life, embrace it. I just want to tell you that I am proud of you so do not get demotivated for silly reasons. You are a strong and a smart girl. You have made some of the wisest decisions in your life. You have the courage to fight the oddest day with the brightest smile. Just do not lose hope and always believe in your doings. Life has always been a rollercoaster ride and it will be the same in the future. However, it is on you how you want to take this ride. Whether you want to enjoy it to the fullest or be scared, close your eyes and miss the experience.
One thing that I want you to do is to give yourself the permission to be everything you can be. Don’t hold back just because of your fears. Promise me one thing that you will always keep your passion burning in your heart and never be sorry for who you are. There will be obstacles, hard times, and moments where your mind takes you to a dark place but remember we have been there and each time bounced back more strongly. Even though you are in a haze of our future, trust your beings that everything will fall into place. No matter whatever you do, I will always be there beside you so do not worry too much. Have fun and enjoy every moment!
Stay strong and true to yourself
Congratulations on completing a milestone and good luck for the future.
Happy 25th Birthday Smiley

Much Love

Vrushali😊

Childhood – Down the Memory Lane

Have you ever had a flashback of a memory from when you were an infant? Or have you ever sat there and wished you were a little kid again? I’m sure it has happened with each one of us, at least once in our lifetime. You cannot recollect everything that happened in our childhood. But certain events are stored in the Subconscious mind. Sometimes they peep through the mind’s eye.

As we all know that human life is divided into four periods: childhood, youth, middle age and old age. Childhood is the best and sweetest of all these periods because children don’t know the language of religions. They are innocence souls for whom every gender and every religion is equal. It is said that the childhood days are the best day of anyone’s life. Someday or the other we all think life was more easy and fun in our childhood and we start to miss those days badly. We all used to be good at a lot of things, we never feared taking risks then and use to celebrate every bit of life without any worry during our childhood. These memories carve your soul and mold your being.

We all do cherish our childhood days. Some of the common things that we usually remember from our childhood can be the first day at school, birthday celebration that we enjoyed, a fight with a friend or a brave thing we did as a child or an unexpected gift that we got, something naughty we did or a dangerous experience from our childhood etc. All these memories hold the best part of our life. These were the days which will never come back. I’m sure many of us will be having some of the craziest memories of their childhood.

You know the way we build memories from photos, even if we don’t have that many actual memories from the event? I think, for us, those are our happiest childhood memories. The stories we’ve been told so many times that they’re more like legends than just something that happened. The best time is recollecting those precious moments of our life by looking over the old photos and mesmerizing those treasured memories that were captured. Old photos help a lot in even recollecting the memories that have been washed off from our mind. It is the best way to relive those memorable moments of our life.

Remember the times when we as a child wanted to grow up fast so that we could be free from our daily study routine but looking back we understand, that was the best time of our life because now we realize that incomplete homework and broken toys were far better than unfulfilled dreams and broken emotions. As we grow-up; we start getting busy with other stuff in our life. Our life changes and so does our priorities. When we think of our childhood memories it leaves a sweet smile on our face.

It was the time when innocence was natural, when getting high meant on swing, when dad was the only hero, when love was Mom’s hug, when dad’s shoulder was the highest place on earth, when your worst enemies were your siblings, when the only thing that could hurt was bleeding knees, when the only things broken were toys and when goodbyes only meant till tomorrow. When you think about all this, you realize that life has changed a lot and there is nothing we could do about it. The only thing we could do is to cherish these memories in our heart forever. All these memories act as a great source of bliss in solitude and flash before our mind’s eye over and again and give us immense joy and pleasure.

Let me quote the words of the poet:ll

“Backward, turn backward, time in your flight:

Make me a child again just tonight.”

 – Elizabeth Akers Allen

Love – The Uncommon that is so Common❤️

Love couple

You love Chicken, I’m a Vegetarian

You Eat butterscotch, I like chocolate

You’re interested in Sports, I like Craft

You watch Science-fiction Movies, I like Horror Films

You Play PS, I Read Books

You think Practically, I think Reasonably

You can talk to anyone and everyone, I’m reserved and keep distance from Strangers

There are a whole lot of things which we don’t have in common. But, the most important uncommon thing between us is the fact that we are loving two different people.

You love me and I love you.❤️

And that is the beauty of our relation or for that matter every relation. To appreciate the differences instead of trying to change your partner. Celebrate these small things in life because these are things that matter the most in every relation. Accepting the uncommon and giving them the same importance as common. 

Embrace Being Ordinary

Ordinary

‘Ordinary’ is not a word it’s a statement. A statement that engulfs so much within it.

Why do we underestimate it so much?

Why is it always essential to add that EXTRA in your Ordinary?

And Why are we never satisfied with an Ordinary?

There are so many other questions that erupt like a volcano within me

As children, we are always thought to be our best in whatever we do. And there is no harm in it but expecting that extra in everything we do surely takes a toll over us. Sooner, our life starts becoming a battleground where we strive to add that extra by being ahead of others. But is it always necessary to be extraordinary to excel in life and more importantly be happy in life?

We don’t wish for an ordinary life or ordinary home and for that matter an ordinary lifestyle. We can never settle for ordinary. I don’t say that hoping for better things in life is a sin but all I want to say is sometimes it is awesome to be an Ordinary. As the great proverb says,’Expectations leads to Disappointment’, we need to learn to accept things as they are. And it brings so much joy when we appreciate the little things in our life rather than complaining about the things that don’t even exist in our life.

It’s time we stop expecting so much from life. It is okay to not have great marks in your exams, okay to fail in love, to get rejected in interviews, to not have that great lifestyle and it is completely fine to be an ordinary. Life is not a race that needs to be won, it’s a beautiful ride that needs to be enjoyed to the fullest. The road  have potholes, speed-breakers and even some nuisance drivers but all these should not affect your journey. You might at times need to put a break to slow down a bit or accelerate it in order to pull off. All you got to do is, stay calm and focused.

Like, we always say every person is different and unique. And that makes each one of us extraordinary. So, the best way to do it is by being our-self’s and stop comparing our life to others. Be true to yourself, keep learning and keep growing! And I’m sure you will fall in love with the ordinary😊

Miss You – Wish you could come back

Dear Aatya,

Though it has been 7 years now since you left us all behind somehow I still feel your presence around. Whenever I come home, I feel you will be there in the kitchen cooking meal for us, watching your daily soaps or grinding baby food on millstones. Life has surely changed for all of us, the day you left this world. You were the homemaker, the one that connected us all together. Not a day passes by when you are not missed.

I wish you were here during didi’s wedding, I know your happiness would knew no bound. Since the day we were born, we three were more than niece to you. You were our second mother. I can imagine the excitement and glow on your face during her wedding and how you would enthusiastically participate in all the preparations. I still remember how much you loved to get dressed up. Time passes by so fast.

I still remember the time when I was crying so bad on my first day at school and you handed me a chocolate and convince me to go to school. Mummy could only work carefreely because she always had your back. You were there to look after us. Every morning you fed me breakfast, gave me a bath, took me to school and came back to pick me up.

It was your daily routine. I miss lying in your lap while watching TV. The time when you use to convince mom to buy me the toy I loved and when you even convinced didi to do my homework each time just because I gave excuses for not feeling well. You were always there for me like a guarding angel.The day when the doctor broke the news of your kidney failure hit us so hard. I can never forget the 15 days spent in that hospital.

I know you were scared a lot from inside but you fought it like a brave woman. All the dialysis procedures were slowly killing you inside and somewhere us too seeing you in all that pain. But nothing works before God’s will. I still remember the day before your death when you were sitting on the hospital bed. I was leaving for home and said you bye but you didn’t respond and I patted you and said you bye again but you ignored it. So I left but while going I just happened to turn back and I saw you smiling at me and waving bye. I smiled and waved back at you and left for home happily.

The next day when I came back from college I heard that your condition was critical. Without any second thoughts I was rushing to the hospital but on my way, I got the news that you could not make it up. I went blank in the middle of the road and start moaning. All the memories just flooded in. I remember the last night when you waved at me smilingly and I wish I could go back to that time and hug you back. That single memory still never fails to give me goosebumps. It was your last goodbye to me. I never imagined it would be so heartbreaking.

I know you are at peace now but a part of you will remain with us forever. I wish I could have you by my side always. I know you are looking at us from above and I hope I could make you proud someday. I Love you and I Miss you.

I just wanted to dedicate a song to you which always reminds me of you-

“You tucked me in, turn out the light

Kept me safe and sound at night

Little girls depend on things like that

Brushed my teeth and combed my hair

Had to drive me everywhere

You were always there when

I looked back

You had to do it all alone

Make a living and make a home

Must have been as hard as it could’ve been

And when I couldn’t sleep at night

Scared things wouldn’t turn out right

You were there to hold my hand and sing to me

Caterpillar in the tree

How you wonder who you’ll be

Can’t go far but you can always dream

Wish you may and wish you might

Don’t you worry, hold on tight

I promise you there will come a day

Butterfly fly away

Butterfly fly away

Butterfly fly away”


(Butterfly fly away – Song by Miley Cyrus)

Yours lovingly,

Vrushu

Unload your Emotional Luggage

Life can sometime come at us so fast and furious that hopelessness can invade our hearts. It can get just downright boring and depressing. It also might give us time to turn our focus on ourselves such that we find it not worth it to live any longer. The feeling of sheer hopelessness and self-hatred escorts depression. There will be times you be awake at night feeling like your head will burst. It is because every bad thought is circling around and around persistently.

Angry at God, at the world, at family, at friends, or just about anybody can make us send a message by doing the ultimate selfish act of suicide. But suicide was never an answer nor will it ever be. There will be a time when you feel, there is nothing to live for. The voice over your head might be over powering you but you have to realize that it is wrong. You will need time to get strong enough to challenge it. Sometimes it might be difficult to deal with problems all alone. At such times try talking to someone who is close to you. Talking over the issues and getting consult might help you to reduce the stress. It will also help in overcoming the worries.

It might become difficult to live with a heavy heart that might suffocate. No matter how long you have been in that hole, how deep it is or how hopeless it seems to attempt to climb out of it, you have to overcome the demon inside you. There is no magic spill to cure depression and anxiety; it is you will that makes it possible although the correct medications do play a vital role in recovery.

Depression can happen for multiple reasons. It can be failure in your career, loss of someone dear to you or even the feeling of being left alone. At times, we may feel completely lost. We aren’t lost, but that’s how we felt. However we have to realize that after the loss of a dear one, our life changes completely. There might be a time when you unexpectedly face failure, but you should always remember that failure is our first step towards success. You might want to go back to how it was, but you can’t go back.

You have to struggle a lot to overcome your grief. You have to learn to accept what you cannot change. Acceptance allows us to use our pain as a means of growth.The first step towards recovery is the decision to be in recovery; to value our self and put a stop to self-destructive behavior. You should be kind to yourself, talk to yourself as you would to someone that you love and never get disheartened by the bad times because they will be for short span of time.