Although it’s been years now, I still clearly remember that Sunday afternoon when I sat along with my sisters to watch TV. Back then, Sunday’s were all about watching movies together. It seems like I sound pretty old times, but it’s just a few years back when families actually use to binge watch together. Getting back to the topic, being siblings, we share a common love for Horror films – Yay! Might sound crazy but we do are horror-fanatic. And while surfing through the channels – we came across a movie name Insidious: Chapter 2. Now, for those who don’t follow this genre; Insidious is a supernatural horror film directed by James Wan.
Back to the Story…
We were so engrossed in the film that we didn’t even realize that there was a visitor at our home. There was a lady who came to visit mom. I didn’t even know who the lady was, but through her appearance, she seemed like a normal middle-aged woman who would probably be a housewife and didn’t much appear to be literate. Now, sorry for sounding so judgemental but somehow, we all are. I’m sure each of us has drawn that line of presumption around people some or the other point of time. Observing us immersed in the movie, she asked me the name of the film we were watching. And to my immediate presumption, I assumed she wouldn’t know nor understand the movie as it was a Hollywood film.
Therefore, I just answered her saying, ‘it’s an English Film.’
To which she immediately responded ‘yes, but which film?’
I hesitated but replied her with the movie name and her response left us all in surprised.
She said, ‘Oh, that movie! It’s a wonderful film. You should watch the chapter1 too. I have watched both parts and loved it.’
I weakly smiled at her, and my heart was filled with guilt. Even though it’s such a small thing, but that day certainly thought me something valuable that is, never judge a person on his appearance. It was a life lesson for me.
You Need to Stop Assuming!!!
We often judge people based upon their external appearance. However, it is observed that once you get to know the person and see what’s on the inside, the reality is completely different then what you had imagined. No matter how vulnerable a person may claim to be, every Tom, Dick, and Harry makes presumptions about others which are strictly based on first impressions. You merely see someone for a split second, and you make assumptions on their attitude, personality, and character. However, our actions, or inaction’s, and how we treat others are often influenced by these naive and often imprecise first impressions.
Like most teen girls, I always struggle to fit in the squad and be liked by my other classmates. We all are guided from our childhood always to be yourself and nice to people, and eventually, people will like you. But, it was never that simple for me. I always tried my best to fit in by doing things that are loved by others such as wearing clothes that the other girls wear, makeup according to the latest trends or watching TV shows that are liked by all and playing games that are played by all. But the fact that I was never really into makeup, what they were wearing wasn’t really my style, TV Shows or the games they played were never in my interest. In a moment of desperation to be liked by everyone, I started forcing myself into someone I wasn’t.
Sure at the core, I was still the same old person, but since I knew that the society accepts those who follow the troop and behave in a certain way, it sometime use to overburden me with doubt. I had a handful of friends throughout my school and college, and soon I realise that no amount of common ground would ever make some people like me. Certainly, we all have gone through this phase in our life where we change our preferences, interest, looks or behaviour with a motive to be accepted and liked by someone. We all want to be accepted and acknowledged. Unfortunately, we live in the world where people take one quick look at you and decide whether to include you in their circle or not.
Surround Yourself with People who Love you
The
world is jam-packed with people who will always nag, judge and pull you down. No
matter what you do or how hard you try, they simply won’t like you. Some people
love you, fiercely. Keep them safe because they are your people. Stop trying to
please the ones who aren’t your people. They won’t buy what you’re selling. You
can never be their cup of tea, and neither will they be yours. Don’t expect
them to walk your path with you. They won’t ever understand. Politely wave them
away as you move ahead. Share your path with the ones who appreciate and know
your worth. Always be who you are and cherish your true self for that’s what is
more important. Because you’re not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s completely
Okay!
A
lot of us hoped for n number of things in life, material objects that can
symbolise our status and success. Many among us wish to own a house, have a fruitful
career, and have a happy family. Apart from possessions and recognition, people
also desire security and fulfilment of a relationship. When we finally meet our
soul partner, we are thrilled and believe that life is now complete. However,
when things go off the beam, and the connection reaches an end, we go through mixed
emotions that seem like to tear our soul apart. Losing people who are beloved
to us leaves us in pain, and we do not understand how to handle it: let go.
Letting go of a relationship that has meant everything to us is not a cake walk.
It is tough to even think about losing someone who has given us so much to remember. A person who we wanted to spent our whole life with, the only person whom we were always to rely on, the only person who stood beside us when the rest left us suddenly disappears from our world. Nobody can ever envisage the aching, the agony we would be going through. It would be the time when we feel alone, depressed but each one of us has to undergo this pain some or the other day in our life. When we lose somebody near to us, our world can feel suddenly different and unknown. Without them, we wouldn’t know what to do.
We
start to miss them so much. Even though they are not near, we always carry them
in our heart. We may find simple routine tasks nearly impossible to do. On
another day we may feel depressed, and the next moment we might be angry toward
friends, family, or the world. For some, the experience will be intense, with a
quick succession of high and low emotions. But we should always remember that
whatever emotion you are feeling is a part of your grieving process.
The hardest part of all to unchain our heart that’s holding on and start to live our life again as nothing has happened at all. At that acute moment, the only thing left with us is the memories of our dear one. These memories work as a ray of sunshine after the storm to bring a smile on our face. Even though it’s meant for a few seconds, we are pleased to have those memories stored. While looking back to the stack of photos, we realise it is the best way of preserving the memories of our dear one. They are the window to our past that was once so beautiful.
The
tears flow down while we sit there and attempt to describe that picture.
It is probably the most painful memory we have. But whether good or bad,
these will only be the things you have with you of your dearly one. There will
be so many good moments you shared – It might be the first time you met them,
the happy moments you both shared, your marriage, the moments when you fought
over silly topics and then try to overcome those fights apologising to each
other. These small little moments form a major part of our life through
memories.
As
we try to move on with our life, we might find that we can think of our loved
one and feel happy instead of sad or hurt. Embrace those feelings of joy and
happiness, and think of them as the gifts your loved one has provided you. Despite
how firm we try, we cannot live in the past nor stay forever in the present. To
live, we must move on and look to the future. In spite of several years passing
by, the love that we once lost cannot be replaced, as if we have lost a part within
us. The aching of that damage stays forever. Still, life goes on, sadly on a
different pathway than we assumed. Sometimes it’s the only choice left which
becomes the only way to live our life. We need to feel good and live with the memories of a precious
one, treasure them and move on in life.
Have you encountered a situation where you had to do something just because you were unable to use the two-letter word ‘No’? I’m sure we all have some or the other time been in a similar situation. It is because from childhood we have been raised to help others no matter whatever the situation. Though some people smartly handled such kind of dilemma, there are few like me sure who are always trapped in such situations.The problem here is we believe that saying no to someone is regarded as being rude. And of course, nobody ever wants to be offensive to someone, especially to our closed ones. I’m not against being kind or helping the person in need.All I want to say is do things that don’t take a toll over you. I remember the lines written by Paulo Coelho
“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” – Paulo Coelho
There is No Harm in Saying NO
If you are someone who faces these circumstances now and then, I’m sure you could exactly relate to what it feels like to be in such a dilemma. You have become someone who needs approval from other people. Somehow, you have become a people pleaser. The problem here is that you put the needs of others above your own. Being a doer, you thrive on caring for others. I say all this with much confidence because I have walked down that road; I was always on my toe to be there for all. The issue began when I started giving up on my thoughts, feelings and wishes with a hope to make other people happy to make sure that ‘we’ were good.
First of all, remember
communication is the key. No matter what, if it is not possible for you to do
something, it is your responsibility to communicate it with the other person.
You have the right to say No. You don’t have to be aggressive or criticize someone
for saying a No. All you got to do is talk out. I know this won’t happen
overnight and definitely, it’s going to be tough. You will feel guilty for
saying no, but eventually, it will help you re-focus your priorities. I’m not
telling you to say no always but be flexible. When we start being authentic
with ourselves and to others is when we focus on our life.
Life is a series of ups & down. Just like the bumpy line in your ECG Graph means we are alive whereas a straight graph defines death. Similarly, the highs and lows in our life are proof of our living. There are instances where everything falls apart. There is a moment where you start hating everything around and more precisely start hating your own existence. Do you remember that particular memory when you can’t stand your own self? It might be due to various reasons, maybe guilt or regret. Maybe you felt that you were not worthy enough for someone else or maybe you disappointed someone or broke someone’s heart. There might be N number of reasons to this feeling but holding on it has never been the solution to it.
All this while, you have been carrying this self-hatred in your heart and because of this, you have forgotten to love yourself completely. Yes, you might have some ugly secrets, committed some of the silliest mistakes or blunders because of which you think that you do not qualify as a good human. But tell me who doesn’t? Nobody over here is a perfect figure. We all are humans and humans are bound to make mistakes and learn from them. We all have done things which we shouldn’t have, said things which we shouldn’t, fell in love with wrong people and let go of the right ones.
But Darling, you have carried this heavy burden in your chest for quite a while and that is suffocating you from within. Because of which you are persistently worried and depressed, and anxiety penetrates around you making way for panic attacks. Your cynical heart has become a breeding ground for demons, who are feeding off on your self-esteem. And you’re not alone in this. We all are fighting our own demons that are within us. All we need to do is, keep trying and you will be amazed to see how your love can create angels out of your demons.
Love Starts from Within
Never make yourself feel that you are not good enough. You always deserve the best. Are you unable to remember the times when you forgot your own sorrows just to bring a smile on someone else’s face? Do you know about the times you have made a difference in someone’s life without even realizing it? Remember the times when you went out of the way just to help someone in need. If you had forgotten, remember it now.
Do you recall that innocent, loving and caring kid that is still within you, waiting for you to reach out to him/her? All you got to do is, take a step forward towards the old you that is still worthy of love and of everything that you have wished for. Embrace yourself because self-love is the best kind of love. The only person who will be beside you throughout this life journey is You. Because how you love yourself defines how others love you.
The longest relationship you will be in, is with yourself so make sure you keep it safe. Therefore, always stay true to yourself and follow your heart. And you will fall in love yourself again.
We
have always heard people using these phrases and sometimes we too say the same
things like ‘good luck’, ‘He just got lucky’, ‘If only I had had a spell of
luck’, ‘You have a lucky day today’ and so on. Now, what exactly one means by
it? No, I’m not asking the actual definition of luck. What I meant is, do we ourselves
actually believe in luck in today’s time?
We
have seen in our day-to-day life, what influence luck has on our lives. I,
myself have experienced this so many times that I already forgot the count. One
such incident that I want to share is from my school days. Our teacher had assigned
every student a project and it had to be submitted in a week’s time. Since the
project was an essential part of our final year score, we all were on our toe
to do our best. But there was one guy in our class who was least bother about
all this.
I still remember the night before the final submission, I was awake till 2 am; making the final edits in my project. The next day what our teacher announced was a shock to us all. She didn’t even bother to check our projects in fact; she extended the project deadline for 2 weeks. It disheartened all of us who had worked so hard for the whole last week. On the other side, the guy who had not even started with it was laughing over it. Now, you might think of it as just a coincidence but believe me there are incidences where even coincident excuses have failed.
I’m
sure many among us do believe in hard work more than the luck factor. And I do
not say everything depends on your luck too. I firmly believe in hard work and
dedication but somehow somewhere or something always makes me believe in this
luck game. I believe that everything happening around happens for a certain reason.
A good example of luck is participating in the lottery competition. Picking the
winning lottery numbers means that you are actually just picking random numbers
and hoping that they turn out to be the lucky numbers. In the end, it all comes
down to your luck because we don’t have any control over it.
I
have seen people working passionately towards achieving their goal. They have
slogged hard, compromise over leisure to reach the position they are at now. I truly
believe on the following quote by Paulo Coelho
‘When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.’
– Paulo Coelho
And
I’m sure many of you would agree on it too. For me, hard work and luck go hand-in-hand.
That is why always keep doing your best and sooner or later luck will shine
upon you.
She might not be the easiest girl to fall for. She tends to overthink a lot. Sometimes, she tends to overreact and often gets insecure. If you are with her, she’ll want your complete attention. Even though she doesn’t say much, but she notices every minute detail about you. She doesn’t appreciate fancy gifts, all she wants is your time and love. She is quite skeptical about her choices and therefore requires a lot of assurance.
There are times when she doesn’t know when to stop fighting with you even if she’s wrong and there are days when there is a storm inside her but still prefer to stay Calm. She might shove you away if she senses that you will hurt her. She may not be a Foodie but she can have her favourite food all week round. She might not be a sports enthusiast but outdoor games still do not fail to bring out the child in her. She loves to hang out but at the same time, she is one who would prefer to spend her weekends in the comfort of her home.
Loving her will pressure you, make you anguish, at times break your heart. There will be a time when loving her will test you, challenge you, and might as well change you. It may get so tough that you’ll be lured to walk away; it may get so difficult that you’ll think about giving up, and it may get so intricate that you won’t want to deal with her anymore. Loving her means you get to see her at her worst and most vulnerable and that is something that you’ll have to be strong enough to handle because she needs someone who’s tolerant enough to understand her.
She might not be the best at being loved but she’s pretty amazing at loving. Once you succeed in conquering her heart, you will have the best of her. She is the woman that will not have any second thoughts in giving all she could, just to get the smile on her man’s face. She loves fearlessly, unconditionally and sincerely. She will be the one you can bank upon when the rest of the world becomes cynical. If you’re her Man then you are the Man of her tiny little world too. And if she really is the one for you then She is definitely worth the risk 🙂
