Have you encountered a situation where you had to do something just because you were unable to use the two-letter word ‘No’? I’m sure we all have some or the other time been in a similar situation. It is because from childhood we have been raised to help others no matter whatever the situation. Though some people smartly handled such kind of dilemma, there are few like me sure who are always trapped in such situations.The problem here is we believe that saying no to someone is regarded as being rude. And of course, nobody ever wants to be offensive to someone, especially to our closed ones. I’m not against being kind or helping the person in need.All I want to say is do things that don’t take a toll over you. I remember the lines written by Paulo Coelho
“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” – Paulo Coelho
If you are someone who faces these circumstances now and then, I’m sure you could exactly relate to what it feels like to be in such a dilemma. You have become someone who needs approval from other people. Somehow, you have become a people pleaser. The problem here is that you put the needs of others above your own. Being a doer, you thrive on caring for others. I say all this with much confidence because I have walked down that road; I was always on my toe to be there for all. The issue began when I started giving up on my thoughts, feelings and wishes with a hope to make other people happy to make sure that ‘we’ were good.
First of all, remember communication is the key. No matter what, if it is not possible for you to do something, it is your responsibility to communicate it with the other person. You have the right to say No. You don’t have to be aggressive or criticize someone for saying a No. All you got to do is talk out. I know this won’t happen overnight and definitely, it’s going to be tough. You will feel guilty for saying no, but eventually, it will help you re-focus your priorities. I’m not telling you to say no always but be flexible. When we start being authentic with ourselves and to others is when we focus on our life.